This week has been a pretty lazy week since I've been sick. I feel much better now, but I missed a whole week of school and basically just slept and watched TV everyday.

I've been trying to finish my Evidence For Christianity book (by Josh McDowell). I am almost through! It's such a big book, I've been reading it since summer!


Bible study was really good last night. It was over the occult. Things like palm readings, tarot cards, furtune telling, uhm... dream interpretating, stuff like that. I used to be way into a lot of those things before I was a Christian. I even had my own set of tarot cards that I would play with. I did the whole pendelum thing where you ask questions and it spins a certain way. I've been into interpretting dreams thinking they might tell something of the future. Yeah.. I used to be way into it. I stopped because when I became a Christian I realized it wasn't good, but I didn't really think about it in depth as to why it wasn't okay to mess with that stuff. Now I realize it is very demonic and when I mess with that stuff I am messing with the demons and things that are not of God. I don't want to do that so I won't ever do any of that again.


I never thought people could actually miss someone so much that it hurts, I thought that was always people exageratting how they feel, but I've learned it is possible to feel that way. To miss someone so much that it hurts you on the inside. On the outside I hold myself together for the most part. I don't like crying (in fact, I hatee crying) and I don't let my emotions get too in the way (mostly because I don't like other people seeing me upset, actually, I hate it when people see me all emotional too..). I believe I make myself appear okay, but sometimes my insides are so weak. I feel like breaking down and letting everything go sometimes. I know it's okay to cry and whatever... but if I don't have to let it out I don't want to. I think I try to be tougher than I actually am.

Sometimes everything appears dark and it looks as if God left you, but then His light appears in the midst of the darkness and you remember you were never alone.

Love, Cristina :]

I just want to fall,
Fall right into your arms,
Slip right into the past,
Only thing is, I don't remember how.

I can't fall back into your arms,
I forgot how to do that.
I forgot how to be with you,
I forgot who I was before all this.

You waited for me in the same place we used to sit,
Only thing is, I couldn't make my way back to you.

I tried but the universe wouldn't allow me
to slip back into the past where you were waiting for me.

The laws of physics were working against us.

So now I just keep looking ahead,
My backs to the memories we shared.

I won't look back now,
I can't look back now.
I shouldn't look back now.

But, I just want to fall,
Fall right into your arms,
Slip right down into the past,
Only thing is, I don't remember how.

This week has been a pretty good week.

I had an exam this week for biology. I won't know the results til sometimes tomorrow, but I feel I did pretty well. Not as good as I would have liked, but pretty well.

Margarita and I have been on campus evangelizing. It's definetly really cool to do. It's a neat thing to tell people that the only way to be a Christian (or go to Heavan) is by trusting Jesus Christ is your Savior. It's so simple, but not many people know that.

Margarita and I have made it a goal to tell two people in class everytime we go to class now. We've told 5 people so far. I would like to start telling people in my Biology class and my Comp I class, but I get more nevous when I am alone. I did tell people in my Spanish class though. I was scared because I didn't have Whitney or Margarita in there with me, but I did tell them.

Anyways, I have been trying sooo desperately hard to forget him, but it is impossible. I want to text him sooo badly or call him or something!!!! He hurt me though so.. it's up to him to come talk to me.

I deleted most of my music because it either reminds me of Michael....... and makes me all sad.... or it reminds me of how I used to be before I was a Christian. I don't want to be reminded of that anymore because thats not who I am anymore.

I pretty much have no music now hahaha. Oh well... I get sad all by myself thinking about Michael.. I don't need music helping me get there.

I thought I had more to say.. but I really don't. I guess this entry is kind of pointless. Oh well.

Bye!!! :)

Its a Saturday and I am still in my pajamas studying. I have a lecture test coming up on Wednesday and it's over 5 or 6 chapters. I have to do a lot of studying before the test so I can make an A.

I miss him so much! I want to just stop tihnking about him. I want to just stop tihnking about everything! But I can't. I want to talk to him or something... but I can't do that either. He did delete me so... that pretty much means don't ever talk to me. So.. I'm not.

This week has kind of been a blur. School is just... so overwhelming at times. It's not really the classes that make it seem so overwhelming.. its that I have so many classes and then on top of that I have to make sure that I am not putting school and making good grades above growing and having a relationship with God. So I have to make sure I spend more time learning about God or reading his Word or reading my Evidence for Christianity book.. or doing Bible studies, ect. It's kind of difficult keeping up with school and making a conscious effort to keep God first. I cannot wait til it is summer. Then I won't have to concentrate on school and just solely focus on God.

Rebelution is coming here the 25th. I can't wait to go. :)

It's annoyinggg. I wake up on Saturday mornings like this and I look out my window in my kitchen and I look and see how nice it is out there and I just want Michael to call me or text me to see what I'm doing. I want him to just stop by my house randomely and tell me it's not important. (The reason we aren't together). I wish it wasn't important. Why is it so important?! But.. I know he will not call.. or text... and most defeintly will not randomely show up at my house telling me it doesn't matter anymore. That's just wha I think about when I wake up and look out the window and see how nice it is. I don't know why.

skjfksijd. I need to stop this.

I guess I should probabaly get back to studying. :/

I am so sick of school.

Jesus didn't go to school.

Haha. :) Bah.

Okay, Bye!!

Its February first.

Its been almost.. wow. 5 months that I officially broke up with him. I can't believe it. It's been a long time, but I am still so attached to him.

My heart says give him everything! but my brain says that's not what's best.

School is draining.. as usual.

I finished studying for my Bio lab quiz on Wednesday. Wasn't too hard. I should do fine.

I went evangelizing a few days ago with Whitney. It was really neat. I thought it was so neat to tell others the gospel. That the only thing you have to do to get into Heavan is put your trust in Jesus as your Savior. It's so simple and so amazing! I had a good time, even if some people rejected it.. that's okay. We should all be used to rejection by now.

I can't wait for summer. I need a break.